


(Un)Forgettable

by xuyongies



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Main Ship Johnten, Minor Jaeyong, Minor Kunyang, Minor Violence, Minor yuwin, Sad Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten, johnten
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:55:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27088201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xuyongies/pseuds/xuyongies
Summary: Ten hates Johnny. Johnny hates Ten (spoiler: He doesn't). Johnny and Ten fight, Ten cries and Johnny saves Ten. Taeyong and Kun are good friends.
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Nakamoto Yuta, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong, Liu Yang Yang/Qian Kun, Mark Lee/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas
Comments: 4
Kudos: 92





	(Un)Forgettable

**Author's Note:**

> Just me projecting my emo hours on Ten and Johnny! Loosely based off of a true story. Had to post this in honour of Sun & Moon. ft. A Cup of Coffee cast~ Hope you guys enjoy this! (Not proofread, I apologise in advance for grammatical and formatting errors.)
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own any of the people who've appeared in the story, just the plot!

“Tennie! Hurry up!!! I told Jae that we were going to be at the party an hour ago! Everyone’s waiting for us!”

Ten sighed and rolled his eyes, “First of all, Taeyong, we wouldn’t have been late if you didn’t hog the bathroom for two damn hours. Second, haven’t you heard of being fashionably late?” 

As he spoke, he slipped on a pair of silver rings into his piercings and attached a silver chain onto the belt loops of his jeans. 

“Besides, the party doesn’t start till I enter the room.” Ten's eyeliner-accented, cat-like eyes glinted sharply, as he appraised himself in the mirror. His wine-red satin shirt shone under the bathroom light, black ripped jeans accentuating his long legs and the lightest touch of his lip gloss drawing attention to his plush lips. Ten was out to kill tonight.

When Taeyong looked up from his phone and laid his eyes on Ten, he giggled, “You look amazing, Tennie. Out to impress someone? Maybe someone whose name starts with a J?”

“Yeah, going to shoot my shot with Jaehyun today,” Ten smirked, as he glanced at his best friend. “Maybe he’ll let me join in on your relationship, huh, Yongie? Would you like that?”

He was met with a pout, “Whatever, let’s get going, we’re already late.”  
-

Loud, thumping music invaded Ten’s ears as he stepped into the frat house, filling his bones with anticipation. At least, until his eyes met a certain pair of hooded ones. “Fuck,” he swore under his breath. 

Averting his gaze, Ten attempted to join the crowd, but was pulled back by the grip Taeyong had on his arm. He turned and was met with a pair of sad puppy eyes on his best friend’s face. “You promised to meet Jaehyun’s friends with me! Come on, for your best friend? You know I hate meeting new people alone…”

Sighing, Ten acquiesced. He had made that promise two nights ago, he couldn’t back out. “Fine. Let’s get this over with, but if that oaf dares to insult me, you know I won’t hold back, Yongie, and you can’t blame me for that.” 

Cheering, Taeyong took him by the wrists and dragged him towards the sofas, where Ten could see Jaehyun seated with a few of his friends. “You know, I don’t understand why you and Johnny are always so antagonistic towards each other. Did something happen between you two?”

“It’s a long story, Yongie, and it’s not the time for that now. We’re here to get tipsy and have a good time, maybe get a hottie for me to dance with. Speaking of, look at that guy in the black shirt, those arms look great for holding someone up—” 

“- Damn, Ten, didn’t know you missed my arms that much. Don’t blame you though, they really are amazing, if I do say so myself. Would you like to touch?”

Ten spun around, “You can screw right off, Suh. I wasn’t talking about you. Now if you’d excuse us, Taeyong and I have some people to meet.”  
“Nice to see you too,” Johnny - indeed clad in a black form-fitting shirt, ripped jeans and with his hair slicked up - offered a charming smile, one bordering on a smirk, “Jaehyun sent me to escort the two of you over, while he takes care of our seats and drinks.”

The pleading glance sent his way by Taeyong made him roll his eyes and growl. “Ugh, fine. Let’s go, Yongie.”

Ten and Taeyong approached the sofas, with Johnny trailing behind their two smaller forms. As they got closer to where Jaehyun was lounging on the sofa, Ten could see the smile growing on Jaehyun’s face, when he looked up and locked eyes with Taeyong. “Taeyong! You made it! Come here, make yourself comfortable, I got you a strawberry daiquiri, since you said you didn’t really like alcoholic tasting drinks.”Ten scoffed, “Hello to you too, Jaehyun. Where’s my drink, then?”

Jaehyun gestured to the coffee table, “Hey Ten, take your pick, we’ve got lots of drinks tonight, just don’t get too wasted.” 

That was more like it. Ten was met with an array of drinks, from shots of vodka to whisky. He poured himself a cup of soda, before dumping two shots into the drink. Perfect. As Ten looked up, searching for a seat on the sofas, he groaned. The only space left was next to Johnny and chips, empty cups and questionable liquids littered the floor. And as much as he hated him, Ten refused to even entertain the thought of sitting on the floor of a damn frat house. Who knew what diseases he could contract from that?

He surveyed the area surrounding him. There was no way he could ask Taeyong to move from where he was cuddled up against Jaehyun. They had been pining over each other for too long, there was absolutely no way Ten would hinder that progress. The other spaces were occupied by Jaehyun’s friends, Yuta and Sicheng - Ten’s acquaintance from dance school - who were draped over one another, and by another couple, who were making out so heavily Ten couldn’t see their faces. Well, he would just have to suck it up. Plus, he had the company of alcohol. How bad could it be?

He made his way over and plopped down on the plush seats. The moment he sat. Down, though, Johnny’s velvety smooth, low voice spoke, “Oh Tennie, I knew you couldn’t resist me. You sure you don’t want to sit on my lap instead? We could have fun, just like in the old times.”Ten tensed up, and spit, “Fuck you, Suh. You know just as well as I do that we don’t have any old times. I don’t want to sit on your lap, I don’t even want to be in the same space as you.” Ten downed the alcohol in his cup in one go, and turned to face Taeyong, “Yongie, I’m off, call me if you need me, I’ll probably be around.”Engrossed in his conversation with Jaehyun, Taeyong didn’t even turn to reply, dismissively waving a hand in Ten’s direction. So much for being afraid to meet new people. A pang of hurt and jealousy hit him in the chest, as he saw the mutual admiration and love in the way Jaehyun and Taeyong looked at one another. He wondered how it felt, to have someone look at him as if he were the only person in the room, specifically, how it felt for a certain tall, brunette boy to look at him that way. Rolling his eyes, Ten turned and made a beeline for the kitchen. What Ten didn’t see, though, was that as he walked away, Johnny’s cat-like eyes never left his figure.

Ten strode into the considerably better lit kitchen, and when his eyes zeroed in on the bottles of alcohol that littered the counter top, he let out a small sigh of relief. His goal that night was to get wasted, not to dwell on the painful past with a certain someone. Fuck feelings.

Snatching a bottle of alcohol off the table, Ten held the bottle to his nose and gave a sniff. He smiled in approval. Not the best whiskey, but it would do. As he ventured into the crowd again with a freshly filled cup (with way more alcohol than recommended), Ten surveyed the crowd, looking for someone that would be worth his night. His sharp, glinting eyes caught sight of a familiar, blue haired figure near the beer pong table and the corners of his mouth slowly tilted up. He manoeuvred his way through the house and over to said figure. Smirking, Ten jumped onto the back of the man that had caught his attention, “Kun-ge! Missed me?”

The blue haired man chuckled and let out a small exclamation, “Oof! Tennie! You can’t just jump on me like that!”

“Hey! It’s been a whole year since we’ve seen each other and the first thing you do is to scold me? How could you? I’m hurt, Kun-ge. My heart is broken! Take responsibility!” Ten pouted as he slid off Kun’s back.

Laughing, Kun turned around and ruffled Ten’s hair, endeared, “Fine, fine. I missed you loads while I was in China, happy now?” With his hands resting naturally on Ten’s waist, Kun leaned in and whispered, “I see you and Johnny haven’t talked, huh? He’s been staring at us since you came over.”Ten huffed and rolled his eyes, ignoring the simultaneous pang of hurt and satisfaction that struck his heart. “First of all, must you say his name? Second, what’s there for us to talk about? Last I remembered, I’ve never meant anything to him, definitely not anything worth speaking about, anyway. Now, are we playing beer pong or what?”

Kun sighed. Typical, stubborn Ten. He still let Ten pull him over to the beer pong table, though. 

They came face to face with their opponents, a tall, doe-eyed freshman called Lucas and his much smaller boyfriend Mark. Ten smirked smugly, “C’mon Kun-ge, we’ve got some freshman ass to kick.” 

Unsurprisingly, Ten and Kun sunk their balls into their opponents’ cups easily, and the game was over in less than 10 minutes. High on the adrenaline of winning and the cheers echoing around the house, Ten turned his gleaming eyes towards Kun, “That was easy. Wanna stay for another round?”

Catching Johnny and Jaehyun stalking over from the corner of his eyes, Kun chuckled. The night was about to get exciting. “Sure Tennie, in fact, I think we’ve got our next opponents already.”

“Care to play a round against us?”

That low, husky voice made Ten whirl around. “What are you doing here, Suh? Haven’t I made it clear that I don’t want to see your face tonight?”

“You wound me, Tennie. What’s wrong? I’m just here to play a game, I’m not here for anything … personal, per se.” Johnny smirked.

Ten grit his teeth and bit out, “Fine. We’ll play this game, but if we win, leave me alone for the rest of the night. Don’t come near me at all.”The smirk on Johnny’s face grew wider. “Agreed, but if Jaehyun and I win, give me a kiss.”  
Ten could feel the tension in the air thicken as Johnny laid out the terms of the game. He felt Kun’s worried eyes on him, and caught Jaehyun’s shocked expression in his peripheral vision. This wasn’t a good idea, Ten knew. The chances of him getting hurt again was high. Too bad his pride never let him back down from challenges. In fact, Ten was sure Johnny knew Ten’s bad habit of not backing down from a fight. 

“Deal. But we’re throwing the first ball.” 

The crowd around the table grew steadily, as more and more people poured in to watch four of the most popular boys on campus play against one another. Even Yuta and Sicheng managed to stop sucking each other’s faces and joined in on the excitement and the cheers. 

Squinting determinedly, Ten aimed for Johnny and Jaehyun’s cups and lightly flicked his wrists. “Score!” The area exploded in cheers. 

Ten grinned cockily at Johnny. “Be prepared to lose.”

Johnny’s eyebrow quirked, and a smirk grew on his cat-like lips, “Oh Tennie. We’ve known each other for so long and you still haven’t realised? I never lose.”Scowling, Ten turned his attention back to the game. As they exchanged snarky quips, more and more balls were sunk into the red cups and soon, they were down to the last two cups, one for Kun and Ten and the other for Johnny and Jaehyun. The pressure building up in air was palpable, as Ten narrowed his eyes once again, praying wholeheartedly that his body wouldn’t fail him. As he aimed the ping-pong ball towards the mouth of the red solo cup, he caught sight of the weird expression on Johnny Suh’s stupid, handsome face. Distracted, he looked up, catching a glimpse of amusement and… what? Why did it look so soft? It couldn’t be… Fondness? Was that really what it was? Johnny Suh was fond of him?

Ten came crashing back into reality when his ears were assaulted by loud booing and jeers. Looking back down, he realised that in his distraction, he had committed a grave mistake. “Fuck.” He swore under his breath. In his momentary loss of focus, he had released the ball carelessly and way off from his goal. God. This was all Johnny’s fault. Why did everything go wrong whenever he was around?

Johnny caught his eye again and winked at him. Effortlessly, he threw the ball in a perfect arc, and that cursed ball landed smoothly into the cup. They won.

A surge of panic welled up in Ten. Frantically, he turned to Kun. “Kun-ge, what do I do? Fuck, I’ve got to get out of here. Now. I can’t do this, Kun-ge. I don’t - I don’t want to get hurt again.” Wild-eyed and flushed, Ten didn’t even give Kun enough time to respond before he spun on his heel and dashed into the crowd surrounding them. There was no way in hell he could give Johnny Suh, of all people a kiss. He just couldn’t. The thought of those warm, coffee flavoured lips back on his made tears well up in his eyes. God, he hated how he missed Johnny and the affection they once shared. He hated how he couldn’t let go of the love he tried to suppress deep in his heart. He hated how Johnny still held his fragile, fractured heart in the palm of his hand, and how he was about to splinter it further, crush it into dust. He hated the helplessness that filled his bones. 

Ten slammed the main door of the frat house open and a gust of cold air hit him in the face. As his mind cleared, an involuntary sob clawed its way out of his throat. Why was he so pathetic? Running away from a party in tears after losing a bet to his ex-boyfriend? Hell, he couldn’t even call Johnny his ex-boyfriend. After all, they never really got together, and Ten didn’t get to call him that, did he? He was living in a cliche, wasn’t he? 

“Ten! Stop running!”

Startled, Ten whipped around. He was met with a pair of warm, chocolatey eyes. A pair of eyes that intensified the pain in his chest. A pair of eyes he did not want to see. 

Turning back, Ten began to jog away from the figure of a certain Johnny Suh. He couldn’t let him see the tears in his eyes. After all that had transpired, he couldn’t let Johnny see through his facade of strength. After all, he still had to maintain some semblance of dignity. Not like he had much of it left, but still. 

Unfortunately for him, Johnny’s strides were much longer than his, and he barely jogged for a minute before he could hear Johnny’s footsteps getting louder and louder. “Stop following me!” He yelled. “I don’t have anything to say to you and I don’t want to see your stupid face either!” 

He heard Johnny let out a heavy sigh, “Come on, Tennie. I’m not going to do anything to you. Just stop and let’s talk. Please.”Ten whirled around, eyes blazing, “You won’t do anything to me, huh? Once a liar, always a liar, John Suh. Every time I see you, you do stupid shit and get me involved. And here you are claiming that you’re not gonna do anything to me. Are my feelings a joke to you? Fuck off.”

His eyes caught a flash of hurt in Johnny’s amber eyes. The vindictive part of Ten felt a surge of satisfaction. After all, he couldn’t be the only one suffering in this situation.

“Hey now, that’s not very fair. You know we never really promised each other anything.”Despite the evident pain in Johnny’s voice, Ten scoffed, “Yeah, we never did. I wonder whose fault that was though.”

Another wave of anguish surged up within Ten, causing tears to well up in his eyes as his thoughts flashed back to his memories with the brown-haired boy. The fun they’d had playing on the basketball team, getting dinner together after trainings and the long, long FaceTime sessions they had with one another. Too bad it was all ruined now. 

Tired by the onslaught of memories that slapped Ten in the face, the fight suddenly drained out of him. His tense shoulders slumped, his sharp eyes turned softer, sadder, and the burning anger in his heart extinguished. “You know what? Let’s talk. I’m sick and tired of feeling this way, being unable to let go of you and your stupid, handsome face.” 

-

Ten and Johnny sat opposite one another in the peaceful, quiet cafe they’d found on the road side, two steaming hot cups of black coffee sitting in between one another. They had always shared the same appreciation for the bitter liquid. 

“So? What do you have to say to me? You said you wanted to talk, so here we are. Now speak.”

Sighing, Johnny ran a hand through his gelled hair, “Don’t you ever miss what we had, Tennie?”Bitterly, Ten smiled, “Are you really asking me that? It’s not like I was the one who ended things between us, was I?”Stricken by the sheer venom and pain in Ten’s voice, Johnny replied, “You know I didn’t want to either. You know that we were both victims of our circumstances, you can’t seriously be blaming me for that, Tennie. There was absolutely no way we would have worked out.”Chuckling humourlessly, Ten shot back, “Well, I guess the circumstances were completely different with your ex, huh? Disregarding the fact that exams were the reason you’d given me for the lack of commitment, disregarding the fact that you dated her despite having equally important exams that year? Face it, Suh. I just wasn’t as important to you as she was. In fact, I have no idea why you’re still obsessed with making my life a living hell with your presence.” He hoped Johnny didn’t hear his voice crack on the last word.  
Johnny sighed wearily. His eyebrows furrowed, as he looked back at Ten, “Can’t we just talk about this without you trying to jump down my throat with every word I say? Let’s just have a mature conversation for once.” 

That softly spoken, simple sentence hit Ten like a blow to his face. Even after all these years, he was still the immature one, wasn’t he? The one that couldn’t get over Johnny. Couldn’t come to terms with how easily he was forgotten. Couldn’t get over his insignificance. Jumping backwards, his chair scratched against the linoleum floor of the cafe gratingly. Even that screech, however, wasn’t loud enough to mask the splintering of Ten’s heart. “First, you bug me for two years after we stopped speaking. Then, you make a bet to humiliate me in front of everyone. Now, you’re accusing me of being immature? Fuck you, Johnny Suh. We’re done here. I don’t want to see your face ever again. See you never, asshole.”Ten dashed out the door of the cafe. In his haste to escape, Ten didn’t even realise that it had started raining. Disregarding that completely, however, he rushed out into the rain and started sprinting for home. As he ran in the downpour, his traitorous heart started throbbing in his chest, and the tears he’d been suppressing since he saw Johnny at the party started falling. Why did this always happen? Why did Johnny always have to come crashing back into his life every time he felt as if he was finally moving on? Why did he always have to be reminded of his inadequacy, his replaceability? God, Ten was so sick and tired of feeling that way.

Drenched, he pushed upon the door to his apartment, dark and empty, just like his battered heart. He sighed quietly. Like always, he ended up alone, in the dark, right where he had started. Shirking off his clothes, Ten jumped into the shower, hoping that a hot bath would ease his aching heart. 

After his shower, Ten padded over to his bed, clad in the most comfortable pyjamas he could find, and got under his covers. Suddenly, he scoffed. The oversized, overworn shirt he had on belonged to a certain Johnny Suh. ‘Figures,’ he thought. ‘Can’t escape him even in the comfort of my own home.’

As a fresh wave of pain crashed into Ten, the tears started again, and Ten’s mind flashed straight back to the memories they had had together.

-

2015, 27 February 5:58pm

Johnny: HAHA Ten

I can’t believe you asked me not to forget you so many times

[Flashback]

2015, 28 February 11:16pm

Ten: Johnny? Can I ask you something?

Johnny: Shoot, sweetheart.

Ten: What are we doing? Like, we both know we feel something for each other. So, what are we doing?

Johnny: Honestly, idk either. Why the sudden question?

Ten: Aren’t u tired of not knowing? 

Idk

I’ve been wondering for about 6 months now. We’ve been speaking for two yrs, Johnny.

Johnny: Well, yeah, but I’ve got my exams this year, Tennie. You know it isn’t that easy. 

Ten: Don’t u wish it was different, though? Don’t u wish something changed?

Johnny: No..? Not rlly. I mean, I don’t think I’ll change anyth about us. Like I said, exams. I wouldn’t do anyth differently.  
Ten: Ah… alright then. 

Johnny: Don't worry about it, sweetheart. 

Life is magical

What’ll work out will work out

Ten smirked bitterly, as he thought about that conversation. Well, guess they just weren’t meant to be, then.  
That night, Ten cried himself to sleep.

-

The next morning, Ten woke up to a pounding headache, no doubt from the alcohol and the excessive crying he had done. Gathering all the strength he had, Ten sat up and grabbed his phone from the nightstand. 27 missed calls, of which 23 were from Kun and 4 from Taeyong greeted him. Shoving down the traitorous disappointment that welled up in him, Ten got up and made his way to the kitchen. 

“Fuck! God, Kun you scared me! What the hell? Why’re you just sitting there”

“Li Yong Qin! You have the audacity to snap at me when. You just ran off after the party yesterday? God, we were all so worried when you just dashed away! And Johnny followed after you?” Kun ran a hand over his face and sighed tiredly, “Are you okay, Tennie? You cried last night didn’t you?”

Ten could feel wetness gathering at the corner of his eyes once again. “No? No, I didn’t. Why would I cry over a man like that? He’s not worth it.”

Despite his strong words, however, he was unable to stop the tears from overflowing. At the sound of the choked sob Ten was unable to suppress, Kun stood up and rounded the kitchen counter, wrapping his arms around Ten. The dependable, safe, nature of Kun’s embrace had Ten dissolving into sobs in his arms, finally letting out all of the anguish he had kept caged in his heart. 

“K-Kun-ge, why can’t he just leave me alone? Why is it that every time I try to forget him, he just comes crashing back into my life? Why can’t he just disappear? Every time I see him and how happy he is, I-I just feel so stupid, so tiny, so insignificant. It’s so unfair, Kun-ge. It’s so, so unfair.”  
Kun manoeuvred Ten over to the couch, rocking him gently. “Tennie, you’re not insignificant, not at all - “

Shaking his head, Ten cut in, “Please, Kun-ge, you don’t have to hide the truth from me. Of course I am, or Taeyong wouldn’t have just forgotten about me the moment he saw Jaehyun’s face. You would’ve told me when you were coming back, you knew how much I missed you. A-And Johnny wouldn’t have started dating last year. He wouldn’t have started dating, knowing he had exams that year.” A pained smile made its way onto Ten’s face. “Did you know? That’s the excuse he gave for not wanting to date me. And look at what happened! H-He started dating her!” 

At the completely heartbroken look on Ten’s face, Kun felt a sense of indignation, sadness and pain on his friend’s behalf shoot through him. Poor, poor Tennie. Nobody could tell how broken he was by the whole situation. Sure, they knew he was mad, they knew he was angry, but none of them saw how Johnny had shattered both his heart and his self-esteem. 

Sighing, Ten sat up, pulling himself together. “Don’t feel guilty, Kun-ge. I can already tell by that look that you’re feeling sorry for going to China. Don’t worry about it, I know you had to leave for school. Plus, you finally got to see Yang Yang again!” 

At the sound of his boyfriend’s name, a tiny smile played at Kun’s lips. Rolling his eyes, Ten giggled wetly, “Yeah, yeah. We all know you’re whipped. Now, make me some breakfast, please? My head’s still throbbing and I’m in dire need of a cup of coffee.” 

Huffing, Kun stood up from the sofa, “You’re lucky I love you, Tennie. Now, go brush your teeth, your breath stinks.”

What Ten didn’t realised, though, was that as enamoured as Kun was by the thought of his younger boyfriend, he didn’t miss the slight longing in Ten’s voice when he called Kun whipped. 

-

Halfway through breakfast, someone knocked at Ten’s door. “Tennie! Open up! I know you’re inside!”Surprised, Ten quickly made his way over and opened the door. “Yongie? What’re you doing here? Didn’t you go home with Jaehyun last night? Or are you guys still not together? God, I swear if you aren’t, I’m going to knock some sense into Jaehyun’s head - “

Ten was cut off by Taeyong throwing himself into Ten’s arms. “Shut up, Tennie. We’re together now, but that’s not what I’m here for.” Holding Ten at arm’s length, Taeyong looked at him earnestly, “You’re not okay, are you, Tennie?”

“Come on in, we can talk while having breakfast. Kun’s here too.” Ten sighed. 

Ten returned to his seat on the other side of the kitchen counter from Kun, with Taeyong on Kun’s left. Staring at his mug of coffee on the table, Ten took a deep breath, before locking eyes with Taeyong, and beginning to tell his tale. 

“The first time I met Johnny was at my high school basketball team tryouts. You know, the typical loser junior meets hot senior bullshit. We became acquaintances for about a year, until one day, after one of our games with everyone high on adrenaline from winning, he texted me on a job well done.

“And from then on, that was it, wasn’t it? We began to text, almost non-stop everyday, about the most mundane things. And that’s when I started falling for his wit and humour.”Taeyong regarded Ten with sad eyes. He could hear the underlying pain and nostalgia in Ten’s voice. 

Pushing down any hint of shakiness in his voice, Ten continued on, “And then, something happened to change Johnny’s perception of me. One of the other seniors started to hit on me, and with that, I guess Johnny realised that I was likeable?” A bitter smirk took over Ten’s face. Regardless, he saw me in a new light, and began texting me differently. And that little bit of admiration I felt from when I first saw him slowly developed into full-blown crush.”Taking in a deep breath, Ten averted his eyes from his friends’ faces. He didn’t want them to see the his anguished expression. “Slowly, we progressed from texts to FaceTime, where we could speak for hours on end, to the point of falling asleep while on call. I looked forward to these calls everyday.”Kun, who had already known about this part of the story, reached across the table to hold Ten’s hand. He could tell how difficult it was for his best friend to push his words out.

Ten gave Kun a small smile, “Don’t worry, ge. I’m fine.” 

Turning back to Taeyong, he soldiered on, “Anyway, these texts and calls continued on for more than 2 years. We went to the ice skating rink before Christmas, and even managed to maintain our daily video calls when we went back home, with him in Chicago and myself in Thailand! Everyone in high school thought that we were together. What they didn’t know, however, was that we never really were in a relationship. Johnny refused to get into one with me, giving me the excuse of his college entrance exams coming up that year. And stupidly, I let him string me along for the better part of three years.

“Eventually, though, it got to a point where I was exhausted, tired of being uncertain. Where did I stand in his life? When girls hit on him, did I have the right to get jealous? Did he have the right to get jealous when other people asked me out?  
“It was so tiring, Yongie. I felt so clingy, so insecure, so immature. There he was, having the time of his life getting good results, winning games and chatting up other people, and there I was, worrying about whether I was distracting him from reaching his goals. How stupid, huh?”

Ten scoffed and shut his eyes. He refused to cry again. He felt as if he had been crying non-stop since the night before, and it hurt his pride, making him feel weak. 

“It all boiled down to that one day, though. “It was a day in spring. He asked me out for lunch, and we went to a really cute cafe. We had a blast the whole time, giggling about anything and everything under the sun. We held hands as he walked me home and when we reached my house, he kissed my cheek before letting me leave. I was so thrilled.It seemed as though we were finally progressing! What I didn’t know, though, was that this exhilaration wasn’t going to last.

“That night, riding on the high of the day, I texted him, wanting to clarify the nature of our relationship, sure that he was going to ask me out properly, and that we were gonna date.”

[Flashback]

2016, 20 May 09:09pm

Ten: Johnny? Can we talk?

Johnny: Of course

What did you wanna talk about?

Ten: Can we just sort out what we are? Once and for all?

Johnny: Yea. This is messy, isn’t it?

Let’s just be friends Tennie. 

Ten: Yeah, alright

If that’s want you want, sure

Johnny: Tennie? Just promise me that

When you end up dating someone

you’ve got to let me know

Ten: Sure

Same goes for you then 

They said that if you loved someone, you had to let them go. What they didn’t tell you, though, was how much it hurt to do so.

Ten’s voice broke, “Well, that didn’t happen. Instead, I got played and my heart was broken. He dismissed the entire 3 years we spent with each other, and we ended that ambiguous relationship there.”Laughing bitterly, Ten locked eyes with Taeyong, “Can you believe it? He even had the cheek to request that I update him about my dating life.”

He could see the pity playing on both Kun and Taeyong’s faces. Poor, young, stupid and in love Ten. A lump swelled up in Ten’s throat, and he bit back his tears, continuing on. “Less than a year later, I found out that he started dating a girl.”

2017, 6 April 10:15pm

Ten: Johnny? You hv a gf now?

Johnny: Yea met her in basketball

Did I not tell u?

Ten: Nope

It’s fine haha

Hope you’re happy with her 

And good luck for your exams this year

Johnny: Thanks Tennie. I knew I could count on you

That exchange of texts marked Ten’s realisation. He was the only one hurting. He knew he didn’t have any right to, though. He knew he didn’t deserve to. After all, they were never really together, were they?

A self-deprecating smirk adorned Ten’s face as he pushed on with his story. “Anyway, fast-forward about a year, and I finally, finally went on another date, after convincing myself that I was truly and completely over Johnny Suh.“Too bad Fate loved playing with me. We bumped into him at the rink with his ex-girlfriend.”

[Flashback]

2018, 30 December 09:09pm 

Johnny: Hey

Who’s your bf 

Ten: Bf?

Johnny: Yea

The guy I jus saw you with?

Ten: Oh

Not really my bf

Jus a date

That was our first date 

Johnny: I see

Amazing coincidence huh? Cant believe I caught u guys together 

Ten: There’s nothing to catch

We weren’t hiding anyth 

Johnny: Yea 

Hope everyth goes well w u guys 

Ten: Thanks 

Resentment. That was the name of the ugly feeling invading Ten’s heart. Resentment. Why did it not seem to affect Johnny at all? Was he really that forgettable? Ten chuckled bitterly. He hated how, after everything, his fears were not unfounded. He was proven right in the end, wasn’t he? He was forgettable. Tears forged paths down Ten’s face, they carved cracks in Ten’s glass-like heart, the painful feeling of his own insignificance tore him apart from inside out. 

“This was our last civil conversation for awhile."  
The pain finally overwhelmed Ten, and tears escaped from his once sharp eyes. 

“Out of nowhere, every time we met, he began to snap at me, make little jabs at me. He made it seem as if we had gone further in our relationship than we actually did. And if there’s one thing I hated, it was getting humiliated in public.

“I started to retaliate, and that’s where we are now. In a less-than-civil relationship, where we can’t speak without arguing. And yesterday? Well, that was the final blow, wasn’t it? I lost to him, let him make me cry. God. Why am I so fucking weak?”

Stricken by the sheer self-loathing in Ten’s voice, Kun and Taeyong rushed around the table and wrapped their arms around him. 

“Oh, Tennie.” Taeyong sighed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know you guys went that far back, and I didn’t know he hurt you so badly. I’m sorry for being such a bad friend, Tennie. If I’d known, I would never have asked you to go to the party me.”

Ten sighed shakily, and gave a watery smile, “Don’t worry about it, Yongie. There was no way you could’ve known, anyway.”

Ten met Kun’s stormy, brown eyes over Taeyong’s shoulder. His jaw was clenched angrily, “And? What happened last night, then? Why did you cry last night? And this morning? What did that asshole do again?”

“Last night, well last night was a mess wasn’t it? He came after me when I ran off after losing pong, said he wanted to talk. And I, stupidly, as usual, agreed. I could never resist his stupid face. We went to the cafe just down the street from the frat house, where he accused me of being immature and told me that there was no way we would’ve worked out anyway.” |

A lump returned to Ten’s throat. He looked up at his friends, “I get that it was an important year for him, I really do. But we didn’t even try. A-and why was it only impossible for us? He dated after that anyway, the year he had an equally important exam. I know I’m not the best at studying, not the prettiest, not the most talented, but I thought - I thought we had something real. How is it that he was able to get over me so easily?”

At his words, both Kun and Taeyong sucked in a breath. Why was Ten saying this? Confident, beautiful, amazing Ten. Did he really see himself that way?

At their silence, Ten shook himself out of his stupor and forced a smile onto his face, “Sorry guys, I’m just being stupid. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. I just needed to get that off my chest. Thanks for listening guys.”Frowning, Kun spoke, “Tennie… you’re not insignificant, forgettable, none of the words you used to describe yourself. It’s his loss he didn’t know how to appreciate you.”Nodding vigorously, Taeyong voiced his agreement, “Definitely, Tennie. You’re so pretty and quick and the best friend ever! Forget that jackass. There’re way better looking men out there anyway! In fact, why don’t you let me set you up on a blind date?”Panicked, Ten looked up, “No way. Please don’t, Yongie.” At the evil glint in his best friend’s eyes, Ten turned to Kun, “Kun-ge! Help me! Why aren’t you saying anything?”

Kun smirked. “Why not, Tennie? You’ve got to get out and meet new people! It’s time for you to get a boyfriend, anyway!”  
“Great! Then that’s settled, Tennie!” Taeyong chirped, completely disregarding Ten’s glare. “Jaehyun’s got really hot friends. Ooh! Maybe we could even go on double dates!”

Groaning, Ten glared at Kun, “See what you’ve started?”

Taking in the sight of his two friends giggling, Ten pushed down the sadness and hurt that still lingered in his heart and smiled. All would be fine for him, eventually. Who was Johnny Suh compared to his friends?

-

“Kun-ge, I can’t do this anymore. I’m currently speaking to you while hiding in a toilet! Please come and pick me up. This guy’s a whole douchebag! He won’t stop gloating about his achievements in school. He’s not even doing that well!” Ten begged into his phone. 

He heard Kun’s laughter, “Tennie. This is the third date you’ve asked me to pick you up from. And you’ve only been on four dates. Are you even trying to get along with these people?”

Ten whined, “Kun-ge you don’t understand. He’s shoving his achievements in soccer down my throat and then claiming that he’s good at managing his time because he only got two Bs in last year. That’s not even that great! In fact, Johnny managed -“ He cut himself off. “- Forget it. I’m going back in. Sorry for bothering, Kun-ge.

Before he could hang up, Kun spoke, his voice softer than before, “No, no. I’m sorry, Tennie. I’ll come and get you. I said I would as long as you weren’t comfortable, didn’t I? Now, get out there and make up some excuse.”

Ten let out a sigh of relief, “I love you, Kun-ge! And I’m going to kill Taeyong when I see him! How on earth did he think a guy with such a huge ego was going to be a good match for me? See you in a bit!”

Ten’s breath hitched when he opened the cubicle door. Standing there, hunched over the sink and washing his hands was a familiar figure. Steeling himself and rolling his eyes, Ten strode over, washed his hands and briskly walked towards the door. 

“Ten…”

“Sorry, do I know you? I don’t think I do. I haven’t got time to waste. My date is still waiting for me outside. Bye.”  
With that, he pushed the washroom door open, leaving Johnny’s pained gaze following him. 

Sitting back down across from his date, Ten smiled and apologised, “Hey, Jeremiah, I’m really sorry, but I’ve got to go. There’s been an emergency at home and I’ve got to take my dog to the vet. I’m really sorry about this.” He stood up, preparing to leave, when his wrist was caught in a painful grip.

“You’ve got to go because your dog is hurt? Are you kidding me? I’ve spent my time and money on getting ready and on gas and you’re just going to ditch me like this?”

“Dude, what the hell? I just said my dog’s injured. What’s wrong with you?”Ten’s date scoffed angrily, “Please. It’s just a dog. You’re not leaving until I say so.” 

“Hey! Let go! You’re hurting me!” Ten tried to wrench his wrist out of the man’s tight grasp. “I don’t have to listen to you. I’m paying for my own meal and frankly, with a personality like yours, this night wouldn’t have ended well anyway!”  
As he spoke, the grip on his wrist got increasingly tighter. “Should’ve known that a slut like you would’ve ditched me. I bet you’re just off to go find a good fuck else where, huh? Worthless-“  
Jeremiah got cut off by a hard sock to his face.

Ten gasped, “Johnny! What the hell?”

Johnny pulled Ten away from Jeremiah and behind his tall frame. He turned back to face the groaning man, glaring darkly at him, “Don’t you dare touch him, asshole. And don’t speak to him like that either. He’s worth way more than a useless bastard like you.”Johnny gently took Ten’s hand and led him out of the restaurant. Just in time too, as the manager approached the table. 

“Tennie, are you alright?” Lifting Ten’s sleeve, Johnny swore, “Fuck. Your arm’s already starting to bruise. I should’ve hit him harder. Come on, let’s go get you some ice.”

Not letting Ten get a word in, Johnny started dragging him towards the convenience store. At that moment, Ten knew he could’ve pulled away. However, the left over jitters from the altercation at the restaurant was still coursing through his body. And with Johnny, he felt safe. ‘Just this once,” he promised himself. ‘Just this once, I’ll let myself indulge in his presence again.’ 

-

“Stop moving, Tennie. You’ve got to leave that on at least for the next twenty minutes.” Johnny ordered, holding the bag of frozen peas to his wrist tenderly.  
Pouting, Ten whined and glared at Johnny through his dark eyelashes, “But it’s cold! I don’t like feeling cold.”

Jolting in his seat, Ten’s eyes widened, “Oh my god, I forgot to text Kun-ge. He was supposed to come and pick me up from the restaurant! He’s going to kill me!”

At the mention of Kun, he felt Johnny’s shoulders tense. “Tennie? Are you together with Kun now?”

Ten rolled his eyes as he typed a quick message to Kun, letting him know that he was with Johnny. “No, you dunce. He’s got a boyfriend waiting for him in China. I was at a date just now, Johnny. How on earth could I date Kun-ge and go out with someone else at the same time?”

Johnny shot him a sheepish grin, rubbing at his neck guiltily, “Sorry, Tennie. It’s just, with how close the two of you are, I thought you were together.”  
Ten sighed softly, “Nope. In fact, I haven’t had a boyfriend since - since you know, us.” A bitter chuckle escaped his throat. “Sorry. I meant to say, I’ve never had a boyfriend.”

Wincing, Johnny took Ten’s uninjured hand in his. “Tennie…”Shaking his head dismissively, Ten ignored the lump in his throat. “No, don’t worry about it. I’m sorry for even bringing it up.” He scooted his chair backwards, holding in his tears and preparing to leave. “Thanks for tonight, Johnny. I really appreciate it.”

Before he could stand up, however, Johnny’s hold stopped him. “No, Tennie. I’m the one that has to apologise. I’m so sorry, for not daring to make you mine. It’s just, I’d seen too many failed relationships and falling grades and I just couldn’t bear to take that risk, I guess? It was never you. I promise you that.”

Tired, Ten sighed and ran a hand over his face. “Yeah, I know. I’m sorry to you too. I’m sorry I wasn’t ever enough for you, I guess? I’m sorry for holding you back from reaching your goals. And I’m really, really sorry for blaming you for all these years, when it was my incapability that stopped us from being together. Maybe if I had been better at understanding and waiting for you, we wouldn’t be here now.”Stricken, Johnny protested vehemently, “No way, Tennie. You’ve always been enough for me. In fact, you were more than enough. I was just blinded by fear.”At that, the tears Ten had been trying to hold back finally fell. “No, John. You don’t have to lie. I get it. I was stopping you from fully focusing on your goals -"  
Ten got cut off by the press of a warm, soft pair of lips on his. Shocked, Ten froze. 

“Shut up, Tennie. Don’t ever let me hear you say something like that again. Everything that happened three years ago was my fault. I just didn’t have the guts to ask you out and to make you my boyfriend, although you gave me so many chances to. None of it was because of you. You have been, and will always be more than enough for me, Tennie. You’re the funniest, craziest, prettiest being I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. Stop saying you’re not enough.” Rounding the table, Johnny pulled Ten’s small, delicate frame into his arms, drowning him in the smell of wood spice and axe. 

At the familiar, warm embrace, Ten felt himself melt into Johnny’s hold. Sniffing quietly, he spoke into Johnny’s chest. “You asshole. You made me feel so inadequate, so insignificant. Especially when you dated that girl.” Pulling away, Ten looked up at Johnny curiously. Johnny felt the corners of his lips lift slightly. He had always loved the height difference between the two of them. “Actually, why did you date her? How come you were so sure that I would have affected your grades and she wouldn’t have?”

Pressing a soft kiss to the top of Ten’s head, Johnny gazed at Ten lovingly, “It’s because I was never as taken with her as I was with you, Tennie. I could never have declined any of your calls, waited to reply your texts or said no to going out with you, as long as you opened your pretty mouth and asked in that sweet voice of yours.”

“And yet you could bear to tease and insult me for the better part of two years?” Ten shook his head disbelievingly, refusing to let hope worm its way into his heart again. He pulled himself out of Johnny’s hold reluctantly. He’d had enough of letting that little bit of hope grow only to have it dashed heartlessly, leaving only loneliness in its wake.

Frowning, Johnny pulled him back in by the waist before he got too far, and replied, “That. I was being selfish. Again. It was my way of getting over you, of attempting to forget the memories we’ve had together. I thought it would be easier to forget you if I hated you.”“And did it - did it work?”

Johnny’s arms tightened around Ten. “Of course not, Tennie. Or we wouldn’t be here, would we? I like you, Tennie. In fact, I’ve never stopped liking you. And I’m sorry, Tennie. I’m sorry for everything I’ve done and said.”At those words, relief washed over Ten and he smacked Johnny on the chest repeatedly. “Johnny Suh you’re so stupid! I hate you so much! You made me feel so small, so replaceable for so many years! And now you’re staring at me with those stupid eyes on that stupidly handsome face of yours! Damn it, Suh! You could’ve saved me all the heartache!"Laughing, Johnny gently caught hold of Ten’s hand, and pouted down at him. “I’m sorry, Tennie. Will you please forgive me? I promise I’ll do better this time. Forgive me, Sweetheart. Please?”

Ten huffed, “Only if you make it up to me.”

At his words, Johnny’s eyes lit up, and he pulled Ten in ever so much closer. “I will, Tennie.” His eyes flicked down to Ten’s lips, and then back up to his glittering eyes. “Can I kiss you?”

A soft giggle escaped Ten’s lips, “Sure, Suh. But only if you promise not to forget me after this.”  
Smiling, Johnny replied, “Never, Sweetheart. Never”  
Their lips met, and a sense of comfort, of safety, of coming home washed over Ten’s body, and he slowly relaxed into Johnny’s hold. He felt Johnny’s hand around his waist begin stroking over the soft skin there, and he whined into Johnny’s mouth. 

At his whine, Johnny pulled away, his eyes tenderly gazing into Ten’s, “Tennie? I’m not going to make the same mistake as before. Will you do me the honour of being my boyfriend?”

Smirking, Ten pretended to be contemplating the question, “Will I? I don’t know, John -“  
He let out a small squeal when he felt Johnny’s fingers dig into his sides. “Hey! You know I’m ticklish, Suh! You’re not playing fair.”

Grinning, Johnny didn’t let up, “Answer my question, Tennie! Don’t leave me hanging like this!” Squirming, Ten giggled and snaked his arms around Johnny’s neck, “Of course I’ll be your boyfriend, Johnny. I’ve been waiting for you to ask me to be yours for the past 5 years. You really think I’d let you go?”

The two lovers, locked in one another’s embrace, smiled lovingly at each other, and for the second time that night, they kissed slowly, softly, tenderly. 

-

“Tae! Hurry up! The car. Is going to be arriving anytime now! Why do you always take so long to dress up? It’s not like Jae isn’t already enamoured with you?”  
“Tennie! Shut it! I’m coming out now!” Taeyong emerged from the bathroom in a mesh t-shirt and a pair of leather pants, eyeliner so sharp it could’ve cut.

“Tennie! You look so good! Are you out to impress someone tonight? Maybe someone whose name starts with a J?”

Rolling his eyes as he took in his own appearance in the mirror, Ten replied, “Nope. No way. He’s already mine, there’s no reason to impress him. Now, let’s get going.”

Giggling at Ten’s stoic reply, Taeyong linked his arm through Ten’s and the two of them exited their house, heading towards a red car.

As they approached the car, two figures dressed in black stepped out. “Jaehyun!” Taeyong squealed, abandoning Ten and dashing towards his leather-clad boyfriend. 

Jaehyun chucked, and opened his arms, just in time to catch Taeyong, as he threw himself into his boyfriend’s embrace. 

Observing from the side, Ten pretended to wretch, disgusted by the view before him. A pair of arms circled around his waist, and a broad chest pressed into his back, engulfing in the scent of wood spice and axe. “Hey beautiful, going somewhere tonight?”

A giggle escaped Ten’s lips, and he turned around in those strong arms, “Hey handsome. I missed you today.”  
Johnny’s low, husky voice was like music to Ten’s ears. “I missed you too, Sweetheart.”Before Ten could answer, they were cut off by fake gagging sounds.  
Whipping around, Ten glared at his best friend. “Yongie!”  
“What? It’s karma! You did the same thing to Jae and I too!”

Before Ten and Taeyong could begin bickering, their respective boyfriends laughed and picked them both up, leading to squeals and screams. 

“Come on, children, we’ve got to go, or we’d be late for our reservations. You guys can bicker all you want in the car.”Ten leaned up and pecked Johnny on the lips, “Okay, Johnny. Only because you said so.”

Johnny returned the favour and gave him a short, sweet kiss before putting him down onto the car seat. “Thank you, sweetheart. I love you.”  
“I love you too, Johnny. Always.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! See you when I next post! No idea when that's gonna be, though. In the meantime, stream Make a Wish (and any other MVs coming out!) 
> 
> Comments and Kudos are appreciated ♡ 
> 
> \- xuyongies


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